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The Jingles of Sex: Part B

Iyata Anthony Adikpe

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Intro

Hi hi my Padi, it’s been a while. Several activities have kept me from writing but I am here to rub minds with you on the topic of sex again. I had written one article on it before but it fell short of conveying my own convictions on the subject. I tender my unreserved apology to you my reader who may have invested time initially with the hopes of knowing what your writer-friend felt about sex. Hey, I’m here to treat the injury rather than massage its sides as I did earlier. This article is relevant for young unmarried folks who are yet to taste the cookie, are chopping the pie, and also those who are in a mix of deciding whether or not they should continue with sexual activities. The married may find it useful as well.

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The Naturality of Sex

If you subscribe to any of the religions, mostly Christianity or Islam, you probably may have been bamboozled with sermons against having premarital sex from your homes to places of worship. Sex education is usually shrouded in mystery, perhaps because it is a delicate affair that if not handled properly can have undesirable outcomes. But proper sex education is important. This is what is lacking many a time. Some must have experimented with sex long before parents, guardians and teachers come to the realization that it is time to educate this boy or girl about it. Oh well, it’s all good, learning is a life-long affair, so this piece is an opportunity for you. Sex and sexuality are natural gifts from God that ought to be enjoyed and managed.

The Purpose of Sex

The billions of people who are on earth today all came to be because men and women had sex with each other at least once. Nobody just appeared here jare. Sperm cells fertilize egg cells in female ovaries to produce babies who are incubated in the womb of a woman for many months before they mature enough to be given birth. So procreation is one fundamental essence of sex. Sex is also a means of expressing love between males and females. This is where the flood gates are thrust open because not only married people fall in love. In fact, people mostly fall in love before marriage and one of the ways they express that love is through sexual intercourse.

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The Use and Abuse

Sex is pleasurable, ‘e sweet’, lol. If you understood the previous section, then you may agree with me that sex should be used to make children, and, foster loving relationships. The abuse however is when it is used for satisfying orgies only (i.e., just for the pleasure and fun of it). I have in the past tried to justify premarital sex by saying no formal weddings were done in the Old Testament of the Bible but I was in fact wrong. There were mostly organized marriages according to the traditional customs of the time. The relationships that are bound to grow forever are those built within marriage. Your girlfriend/boyfriend today may not be the one you will marry, so why commit yourself that deeply to something fleeting?

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Getting back on track

In the first paragraph, I recognized that some unmarried people are there who have never had sex, others are in it and don’t feel the need to do without it, while others are contemplating pulling out but may not know if they can or if it’s even a bad thing or not. My friend Jay (code-named) told me recently that he had never had sex before, I immediately told him that: “the body you carry is gold, don’t degrade it, just marry when you’re ready and lead a good life, you’re not missing out on anything.” My buddies who are in the game and feel no remorse for anything should be afraid of something called the ‘seared conscience’ (i.e., dead conscience). That’s a state you don’t want to get to because you may not care about how your children lead their lives eventually. The consequences of your actions may have an impact on them. For those contemplating pulling out, I think you should, God-helping.

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Managing Choices

In this world, everything is at our disposal. Nothing makes this or that absolute. What distinguishes humans from lesser animals is the ability to determine what suits us as people, conscious choices. We all live with the consequences of the choices we make and so we have to manage that. You may have made errors in the past, no biggie, it was just the extent of your knowledge and exposure. You probably know all the medical and health jargons already so I won’t delve into that again. So decide, and I encourage you to seek the best for yourself. Seek sanity.

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The Wrap-up

The first article I wrote was not a mistake, it just lacked detail, you may now read it again and have a better grasp of some of the things I said there. Those were mostly a summary of what I’ve expressed here and it also carried psychological and social-economic perspectives on sex. I believe a healthy sex life in marriage is awesome and we should look forward to it.

Cheers🥂

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