Photo Credit: Kingsville Ontario


Iyata Anthony Adikpe
3 min readApr 24, 2023



Hi hi my friend. It’s been ages we last spoke through writing. I got a new friend who took me places I liked. She made me reconnect with folks I had shared awesome times with. She exposed our conversations to people who could listen to our love stories. That’s why I’ve been away. My friend’s name is Agora. Notwithstanding, you’re still my personal padi. Let me share one of the many things I’ve been yearning to talk to you about, ‘marriage’.

Photo Credit: Éducaloi

What is Marriage

This is the coming together of a biological man and a woman to be one forever as sanctioned by some formal institution. I have ignored all the debates that may be in-between because this is what I believe. In Africa, marriage is a serious business. It defines how an adult is perceived in society. One’s respect and ranking of responsibility may depend heavily on this.

Photo Credit: Deseret News

The Essence of Marriage

Marriage is a means of worship towards making heaven. This is a largely religious definition, one which I have come to accept. Those involved in marriages enjoy a kind of companionship from each other that could help them progress in this world and lead them closer to heaven, or not. Some describe it a sweet thing that has its own forms of challenges as does every other human endeavour. But I think it is a good thing if the right relationships are created within it.

Photo Credit: National Today

The Steps to Marriage

Usually, people just meet and gel together on multiple grounds and make efforts to grow their relationship on a permanent basis by formally wedding each other. Attraction to some traits kickstarts it, love is built as communication increases, and ultimately, mutual trust and acceptance of one another seals it. Although sometimes, some of these may be truncated by circumstances, but, conscious efforts need to be put into building these.

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The Wahala with Marriage

People don’t usually agree on the same things all the time, and all the way, which is normal. The difference between what people can bring themselves to accept or not from their partner is usually the source of growth or dispute. But an understanding of oneself, then of others, could do a lot in managing this. I have come to observe that there is no single template that applies as a guide to all marriages, only love, kindness, and God.

Photo Credit: Guardian Newspapers

The Way Forward — Lead a good life, and if you choose marriage, lead a good life in it also, by God’s grace. Seeking to understand others is as important as being understood. Cheers, and it feels good to be back.

My new friend Agora is a podcast I started with friends. You may click to listen to episodes 🤗