Photo credit: Valiant Living

Babes dey but dem no many

Iyata Anthony Adikpe
4 min readDec 12, 2021


Welcome back my friend, it’s nice to have you back. This time we’re delving into relationships and finding the right partner, one that could make your heart do ‘gbim-gbim’ on a steady level. Lol, let’s take this dive into the corridors of sweet love together, please.


Photo credit: Pat Cegan

Statistics (stats) hold that there are more [women, ladies, babes, omoges, sisi-ekos] in the world than [men, gentlemen, guys, bobos]. Even the List items are unequal. However, we find that men and women still take time to search out the perfect (or near-perfect) fit for themselves. I should have thought it would be a simple one-to-one or one-to-many mapping from guys to babes, but it’s not so. Many complex relationship maps exist. There are even ‘Situationships’ too (this word I found out very recently). But stats are stats, and what it is is (it is what it is).

A Local Man

Photo: Elvis Presley

My experience in relationships is pretty linear, direct and plain with normal imperfections. The story is usually: “meet in a closed system like a school or social group, date, learn a lot from each other, some intimacy (lol, it has been much sometimes sha), some relationship drama, leave that space or system, more drama, exit nicely with some heartbreak and mushy feelings”. Local right? I’ve got very little experience around cheating, double dating, multi-dating, chasey-chasey, situationships (this one still dey burst my brain as a Local Man that I am), and, breaking through or into existing relationships. Hey, before you conclude, I’d like to mention that this Local Nature is an intentional decision, and that is so because the alternatives to this basic structure are usually too complex for me to deal with, I like simple stuff.

A Spec

Photo credit: Dreamstime

The concept of Spec is about what makes someone unique, standing out from the pack (like Outstanding, lol, isn’t this the same thing as ‘standing out’? Don’t mind me). Ladies (mostly) like to describe themselves in this light, from the physique, to the intellect, to the sweet soul and Godly spirit. She who has it all is a Spec, like, spectacular, aha, that works too, but too long a word, Spec is better. I think it is a fine concept and a desirable one at that, however, it is also very subjective as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

My Babe and I

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My babe is a Spec. Oh, did I just say my babe or my dream babe? Hehehe, I may have a wide audience reading this piece because of the topic (*winks*), even married people, so I had better tread carefully before ‘I answer kwestons that I cannot can’. But for my babe to be a Spec, I need to be one too (it feels awkward to use Spec for a bobo though) because it’s feedback for feedback and energy for energy. You attract who you are, except you create an unfortunate scenario. That means at this point it is safe for me to say “my dream self”. Hehehe, it has to be a balance, right?

Muuving forward

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Moving (or muuving) forward, a Local Man may have to remain a Local Man. A Local Man has to pray to God for a Local Woman. I have an idea of the other things I may need to consider in a seemingly complex world (and thanks for thinking about it too. I feel your advice just like energy from a distance). My Local Nature is more Agile now. There’s no time to waste, early feedback is key to continuous product delivery and improvement. Life is the Product here. Babes dey, but dem no many. You’re free to replace the word Babes in the Title with Guys or Men.